I've been thinking about how events have progressed and can't quite believe that is was only 10 days ago when my consultant told me the news. It feels like forever.
In that time I've:-
- Broken the news to my family & close friends
- 'Announced' it on Twitter & Facebook
- Sorted out bill paying and home stuff
- Arranged the cleaning to fairy to come in twice a week instead of once
- Bought new 'lounge wear' for after the op
- Started to teach MrC how to cook the Slimming World way
- Arranged to handover tasks at work
- Researched hysterectomy recovering times
- Filled out at least 20 forms at the hospital
- Had the first pre-op assessment
- Sorted out a haircut a beauty pampering session so I look as gorgeous as possible afterwards (well a girl can hope!)
- Bought a Mother's Day present
- Bought my mum's birthday present (18th of April)
- Bought a book '101 tips for having a hysterectomy'
- Bought loads of pillows for propping
- Begged and borrowed books for reading
- Set up a new Love Film subscription 'just for me' to keep me going
....and a million and one other things. And now its only 10 days until I actually have the operation. And I am torn. On the one side (my left side of my brain), I've another million & one things to do; like actually doing the handover at work, cook some food for freezing to take the pressure off MrC, at least for a week or two and many more. (A huge to do list) I'm sure I won't get everything done before I run out of time.
On the other side (my right hand side of my brain), I want to have the operation now! I don't like the idea that I am walking around and the cancerous cells have got more time to potentially break out from my uterus work their way around to other parts of me. I don't like the waiting around, I don't like the countdown and thinking 'this time next week....'
But deep down, when I connect the two sides of me I know that it doesn't matter if I don't get my to do list done. And a few more days won't make any difference to my health in the long term. For the time being, I need to live in the now, enjoy each moment as it comes. I need to relish the challenge of what is to come, accept what will be and cherish my lovely family and friends
Plus the clocks go forward in the morning, so I've one less hour to worry about!