Meal Planning Monday 24th June

Meal Planning Monday

Meal Planning this week was delayed until I went to weigh in. Was touch and go whether I stayed in group or not, I've just not been feeling it. Got a few things on my plate at the moment and a terrible comforting eating habit which I can't see improving. However once I'd got over the bad news (a massive 5.5lbs on!! A record even for me) staying to group gave me lots of inspiration for my menu. Thank you everyone for all the ideas

Mushy pea curry with rice (syn free)
Bachelor rice quiche chips (syn free)
Vegetable stew(syn free)
Vegetable stew & cobblers (8 syns)
Baked potato beans, cheese triangles (syn free)
Smash Pizza (syn free)

Mushy pea curry and Smash pizza are new recipes for me so wish me luck!

I'm going for a roast at my parents this week, so will take my own roast potatoes and will just have to be careful out for lunch at Wagamama's. Will need plenty of willpower and no dramas this week but will give it my best shot.

There's very little chocolate in the house, plenty of yogurt fruit and sugar free jelly so fingers crossed it'll be a better week

I'm linking with Mrs M, so check out the other menus on the links.

Sorce Trial - reverse placebo effect

Been on the Sorce Trial for a year and I could now be swapped onto the placebo. Not sure how I feel about that.

The trial is a double blind study, so the hospital team don't know either until end of the three years or if I get cancer again. If I should become ill my status is checked & I'm offered the drug if I was in the placebo group.

There are three groups, placebo for three years, drug for three years or drug for one year placebo for two. I'm trying to work out my scenario.

Think it's safe to say I'm not taking sugar tablets.

The human mind is an amazing thing and can manifest itself in numerous aches & pains. I know I've developed dreadful headaches & sicknesses when I've had exams for example. I remember feeling poorly before having the contraceptive cap fitted. The thought of lots of internal exams freaked me out. I felt I was coming down with the flu, aches, pain, headace, hot and cold, shivering, but forced myself to go and dragged my aching body to the appointment. Miraculous recovery when the appointment was over and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I practically skipped out of the room. Think that was the first time I realised I was making myself ill.

I'm not sure though my body is clever enough to cause widespread hair-loss on the body with dramatic thinning, bald spots & colour change on my head!

Been bald since September and I'm rather used to rocking a scarf, plastering on the eye make-up, walking with attitude and meeting eye contact with a 'pretend' confident smile. But I've mixed feelings about changing onto the placebo. I'll know pretty soon if I am. Hair will grow back and I'm obsessively checking.

On the one hand I'll feel so much better when I've got my energy back, feet hurt less, I can find out if the nerve damage in my toes is permanent or not, no more grumbly tummies and rushes to the toilet. I can be more me without the crushing fatigue & low spots.

But can't help feeling the lifeline of Sorenfib could be being pulled away, knowing the drug helps lessen the reoccurrence rate.

Suppose though, I can't change the outcome. I'm either on it for another two years or I'm not.

But wonder if I've got the balls to have a purple skinhead if it does start to grow.

Not the time for platitudes and sugar coating

At work earlier in the week I was asked to join a couple of colleagues in a meeting room as they needed my help.

Intrigued, I walked in, we sat down and the woman opposite explained she'd been diagnosed the day before with breast cancer. She was articulate, beautiful and vunerable. My heart went out to her, it took me back to the place I'd been nearly 18 months before. I wanted to show her I cared. Wanted to let her know I knew what she was going through and only too well. I wanted to cry with her, try and share the pain and anguish.

However I knew that wasn't going to really help, she didn't need a relative stranger to cry with her or even for her. She has friends, family, loved ones to do that with. So I sucked up my emotions and listened.

And then I had a choice. I hope I made the right one.

I said what she was going through was shit, total shit. It wasn't going to get any easier for a while and it wasn't fair. She'd experience pain, physically and emotionally. She'd do a lot of crying, a lot of why me's, a lot of appointments, tests, procedures, needles, lots of needles and even more waiting. Waiting in waiting rooms, hospital rooms, her living room. It's totally and utterly shit.


She'd also get to meet new people, special people. People who'll treat her, people who'll amaze and inspire her. She'll strengthen existing relationships, make lasting and binding new ones. Learn what a truly amazing thing the human body is. That although it goes wrong, it also has a resilience and it can cope with so much. That she'll cope, with lots more than she ever thought possible. She'll learn new things, new skills, see life differently.

It's shit, it's difficult but she was strong.

Of course, I wasn't that articulate, there were lots of face crunching as I tried to describe things interspersed with 'umms' and stilted sentences as I attempted to paint a picture and describe how I felt. But you get the picture.

I don't think I was asked into that room for sugar coating and platitudes but for honesty.

I hope i made the right choice, that I made a difference and helped in a small way.

But what do you think? What would you say? What advice have you for my new friend.

One word which means a lot

I was due to get my one year all clear last week (notice the positive language there?) but the conversation didn't go as planned.

I get checked every three months because I'm on a drugs trial called Sorce, and the doctor usually says, 'scans have gone to be checked, but looked OK to me.' This time I got just a 'they've gone to be checked'. I asked questions as she had viewed them, but the same answer and nothing else forthcoming. Add to that I've low phosphorous levels, which need rechecking and alarm bells were ringing in my head.

The plan's for me to take supplements, then another blood test, to rule out (or confirm) the problem lay with my diet. Now, I may not be one of the slimmest of specimens, and eat more chocolate than I should (it is a bean, so one of my five a day surely?) but I do have a varied and mainly healthy diet, thanks to Slimming World. I don't feel my diet is lacking in any nutrients (it's found in chicken AND bacon for goodness sake!) so I suspect something a little harder to fix.

Plus a little bit of googling later, my suspicions are confirmed. I'm not alcoholic (last drink was probably Christmas) and my seemingly life long membership to Slimming World was testament to not being anorexic (although MrC did say I could be a not very good at it anorexic. That was his attempt at humour, because let's face it, we both had something more serious in mind)

So no scan results + suspect blood results = worried me and MrC

And that feeling drags you down. You can't do anything about it but wait and see, be positive, think on the bright side and all the other cliches. For me each day was me trying to be Piglet when inside I was Eeyore.

You hope for the best, but are really planning for the worse. Would it be more surgery, recuperation, time off work, stress, financial constraints, you name it, it ran through my head. And there was nothing I could do other than take the supplements and carry on.

However, a week later than planned, I've gotten the call I wanted. The all clear. Didn't hear much else of the conversation. The low phosphorous is still an issue, one to be resolved, but taking the scan out of the equation, means its a nothing, a blip, something I can deal with.

I'm all clear and have been now for a year. That's the important bit, the rest is inconsequential and will be dealt with as and when.

I'm all clear



A brilliant word, one to cherish, savour and enjoy.


And to celebrate I'm republishing my celebratory picture from last year, my happy picture.




I'm linking up with Michelle at Mummy from the Heart, check out other Reasons to be Cheerful


Reasons to be Cheerful at Mummy from the Heart



(Verb) the feeling of trepidation or anxiety preceding either attending a scan appointment and/or follow up result consultation

Sometimes it's also accompanied by 'a feeling of vagueness', 'mind wandering' into 'what if's and maybe's', 'sweaty palms' , 'sleeplessness' and 'jelly belly visiting toilet multiple times itus'

Sound familiar? I've got it, well and truly.

If you've ever had to go for tests and then waited for the results, you'll know exactly what what I'm talking about. And if you've battled cancer, it's all too familiar. Every consultation, every blood test, every x-ray or scan, you're hoping for the best news, but secretly preparing for bad.

I get my results on Wednesday, one year down on the drug trial, (2 more to go) one year all clear, I'm sure (I hope)

But until then, if you should see me walking briskly in the direction of the lavatory, please excuse my rudeness.......and get out of the way!

Meal Planning Monday 10th June

Meal planning today and linking up with At Home with Mrs M. I've loved drawing up my plan this week, tried to think of the yummiest food, something to tempt me, but would still be simple to cook

Chicken breast, bacon, broccoli and barbecue sauce (2 syns)
Jamie Oliver pasta (2 syns)
Chickpea rice and chicken (syn free)
Wedges, quorn sausages, beans (syn free)
Slow cooked beef, roast potato and vegetables (syn free)
Something quick and easy, maybe a fridge frittata

I've become a bit obsessed with using dried beans, but they go with nearly everything! I've discovered so far, if you'd use minced beef, you can substitute a mix of beans and it still tastes fab! It means I'm eating less red meat, less fat and increasing my fibre. The only thing it doesn't work with is a homemade beef burger, but then the clue is in the name.

I've felt reasonable well this week, plus I made sure to have yogurt after my main meal, which seemed to stop sugar cravings in the evenings, which will have helped with a 4lb loss.

Cue .........** little happy dance **

I'd like to say, long may it continue, however if it doesn't, can you guys remind me to not beat myself up? It's more important to be happy and eat well most of the time, than unhappy and upset with myself when I don't.
Don't forget, I'd still like to know what you've been getting upto, and have planned.

Happy eating!

(Check out the other plans over at Mrs M's!!)

Meal Planning Monday - another week, the same meals

It's Meal Planning Monday with At Home with Mrs M, and it comes around so fast! I've really not put too much thought into this weeks meal plan, I've been a bit lazy to be honest and fallen back onto firm favourites and things I've got already prepared in the freezer.

I've also been to Slimming World weigh in, but asked not to be told the damage! Not sure why I've done that, I know I've put on because I haven't been following the plan, but eaten what I fancied, full fat stuff and all. But I'm not quite prepared mentally to accept the numbers. I'm going to think on this and maybe write about it later.

Onto the menu for this week

Pork chop, veg and turnip mash
Mixed bean chilli and rice
Soup and bread (think its butternut squash from the freezer)
Minced beef hash ( made it last week and froze it )
Cottage pie ( again made last week and frozen )
Slimming world chips and egg

I've only planned 6 days, ran out of inspiration, but my freezer is packed, so I won't starve!

Talking of the freezer, I must get better at labelling when I batch cook. It can sometimes be a bit of a lucky dip when I go investigating. Not a bad thing, but would make life easier when I send other people in to get stuff for me!

And before I forget, thank you to everyone in group who witnessed my mini meltdown last week. I'm fine, better than I was, but still wobbly. But like I read somewhere, wobbly can be a fun place to be too, it changes your perspective, literally and figuratively.

What've you got planned this week? Something I can pinch???Do tell!