Reasons to be Cheerful - Enjoy the Good Times #R2BC

It's been far to long since I last linked up with Michelle from Mummy From The Heart and her wonderfully inspiring Reasons to be Cheerful. I couldn't have gotten through the last couple of years without a positive outlook and silver lining thinking. Reflecting on the past week is a great exercise in keeping sunny and powerful.

I haven't stopped keeping topped up with positivity, just the recording of it. For some reason I felt compelled this week, and I usually go with my gut ( keep the comments about the size to yourself, those of you at the back!)

The weather has lifted everyone's mood I think. My internal temperature control is way off at the moment (its the drugs is my usual lament) Normally I'd be a sweaty Betty (not pretty) but as I'm usually cold, the heatwave is making me just right. I still can't go out in it, still too high risk for skin cancer from the drugs, however it makes me want to start walking again.

Had a fabulous couple of weeks at work, a simply brilliant work conference which has inspired and lifted me. I'm full of ideas to implement and make some changes. It's wonderful to spend time with like minded people and make connections.

I've been told I know everyone, it's not true by the way, however I was surprised by how many familiar faces were there. Plus plenty of new friends to make. All helped by the fact it was held at Alton Towers!

I indulged in my love of exciting rides with wild abandon, forgetting the fact I'm a middle aged woman, getting over cancer! There's life in the old dog yet.

I was also proud of myself on Monday, when it became evident I'd made a big mistake a work. The old me, would have beaten myself up, made myself feel terrible for the rest of the day. However, I sucked it up, and gave myself a talking to. I literally said, forget about it and move on, don't let it ruin anything else. And went on to have a productive, fruitful day and was happy and chipper once home (which certainly pleased MrC who does get the brunt in bad days. But then I think that's in the job description, you're there for your partner no matter what)

And the real reason, the heart of the cheerfullness? It's plainly obvious I'm on the placebo. My drugs trial was designed with three groups, group one which are on the placebo for three years, group two on the drug for three years and group three on the drug for a year and placebo for two.

I'm guessing I'm group three ( I won't know for definite for eight years when the study concludes, but to me it's obvious)

My hair is growing back, my feet are less sore and the feeling of fatigue is lessening. It all means I feel better. There's a part of me, a little bit sat in the corner worried that I won't have the same cover of the cancer coming back now I'm not taking it. But. And it's a big but. I CAN'T CHANGE THAT. So I can't let that dominate.

What will be, will be and the meantime enjoy the good times.

#Reasons to be Cheerful - Retail Therapy, Photography and Clippers

 

I'm linking up again with Michelle at Mummy From The Heart, which is a reason to be cheerful in itself! Good to feel part of the community again, get yourself over there and take a look!

My week saw me out walking the dog on Saturday with the camera. It felt like Spring could be on its way. Great to get some fresh air and enjoyed seeing things from a lens perspective, actually seeing and not just looking

Work has been great, very busy, which is the way I like it!

As you know I've joined a Slimming World group, which meet on a Monday, and this week I've lost 2lbs. Very pleased with myself. Just what I needed, a great start to the healthy eating plan.

Then over the weekend, my hair started dropping out again. I knew it was coming, it followed the same pattern as last time. The hair lost it's vitality, was losing colour and felt wiry. However as my hair was still so short, it made it look really scruffy very quickly, so think I noticed it more.

No way this time a good hair cut could buy some time!

The clippers came out last night and it's off, all gone again. Lot better than the patchy look! In fact, I don't mind it. I posted a picture on Twitter last night, which was quite brave of me. Not because I've no hair, but because I don't like to see photo's of myself. I would pop it on here, but I know my Mum sometimes reads my blog and she doesn't like to see me like that. Although 43 I'm still her little girl and I know it would be painful to see my daughter sporting the Yul Brynner look (However if she does read this, Amy, you would totally rock it!)

If you would like to take a look here's my Twitter Page

It has however given me a great excuse to go and buy more scarves. Retail Therapy!

Here's to the next week

Reasons to be Cheerful 6th April - Life is a little more rosy

It's Saturday and I know I'm a bit late with this, but first chance I've had to write this, however it's been brewing in my head like a builders mug of tea all week.

I spoke with Michelle the other day after she tweeted (I'm paraphrasing, because I'm too lazy to find the actually tweet)  'what do our tweets say about us, what image does it portray?' I thought about it, and it pains me to say, my twitter persona has turned into someone who whinges and whines. (not sure the real me has been much different to be honest, I must be a pain to live with)  Not a person I would want to engage with, let alone actually be. So, my five point plan, was well over due! 

It's not been a week of amazing revelations or earth shattering life experiences. More of slow warming up, a bit like our spring. And like a new born lamb, I've got a bit of a spring in my step. I couldn't say one thing in particular has made a difference, more of a collective of small things which have affected the whole.

1 - Work has been great, started the week thinking I had a huge mountain of work to climb up. But like most things, once I got started, I loved it. I've felt I've achieved something this week and pulled my weight. I know I'm not working to my full potential, but I saw and more importantly felt, glimpses of me!

2 - I joined a Slimming World Group on Monday, it was the first time I've been to one, having followed the plan on-line. I enjoyed it more than expected. I'm even looking forward to weigh-in, although if I'm being honest I don't think I'll have lost anything. However I won't have gained! 

3 - Been taking part with #FMSPhotoADay for April. And oh my goodness, I'm loving it! For those not in the know, you take a photo everyday which relate to the daily prompts and post it, either on your own blog, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter....there are so many ways to join in. It's given me 'permission' to get the camera out and just take photo's. Over time, I'm sure my ability will catch up with my enthusiasm! I've posted them on my sister blog Depiction

4 - Got a brilliant routine going for my feet. Twitter followers will know, one of the side effects of the drug trial is very sore feet. This coupled with the resulting nerve damage from the treatment, means they are permanently cold, as well as sore. Not a good combination.
I splashed out (Well, MrC did) on a Shiatsu Foot Massager which I use for 15 to 20 minutes every evening. I then heat up some wheat filled slippers, a bit like these, which Mum gave me, and they are toasty for the rest of the evening. (I've even started taking them to work with me! No-one has dared object when I heat them up in the microwave. Maybe they've not noticed.....sssshhhhh if that's the case, don't tell 'em, will you? Our secret)  Then a good old fashioned hot water bottle in bed and voila, a good nights sleep.
Feet still hurt, but its not as bad, result! 

Think my five point plan is working, life is looking a little more rosy.

Today's a Good Day

Image Credit

I've been preparing for this meeting for a little while now and entered the room thinking I would be taking a step back and watching from the sidelines, playing catch up and working out where I fit. Eight months away can do that to you. It saps your confidence, your ability to cope with stress, to juggle. I was expecting to be tired, to struggling with getting back into a routine. I wasn't expecting to feel like a shell, like a black and white version of myself, a lower resolution image. I've been playing catch-up, never quite in control, reactive not pro-active.  'They' don't tell you that.

I got into the room, some faces I knew, most I didn't. So I listened, nodded, made the right noises and then suddenly something clicked. I answered a question. My confidence grew, I heard myself taking part, asking questions, clarifying, contributing to the debate. I surprised myself. Not only did I actually sound like I knew what I was talking about, but I also felt it. No faking it, this was me, all me.

I came up with a suggestion. Now those people were nodding in agreement with me, a role reversal. People who've been part of this project for longer than me, eight months longer than me. A senior manager picked it up, liked it. As a group we explored it more. I expanded on the idea, described how I saw it working. It looked good, it felt right and it's now going to happen.

So today was a good day. Today was a brilliant day. Today is the first of many. The day I found My Voice.

My Reason To Be Cheerful

Reasons to be Cheerful #R2BC

I've not linked up for a little while, in fact I've not posted anything either, so thought it was time to get back into the saddle.
It's the little things which have made a difference this week

• A bar of chocolate
• Skype call with my daughter
• A lazy day out with Mum and a friend wandering around Tavistock
• Finishing a crochet project
• Getting back to the gym

Sometimes it's the simple things

Reasons to be Cheerful - "Sod It" #R2BC

It's my time to think about the little things which have made me cheerful this week. And this time, I'm just saying......

I'm on a drugs trial for a cancer drug, which has side effects, but this week was the first time I've needed added standard medications to help. And they've reacted badly with each other. I've felt sick, dizzy, sleepy, nearly passed out, vomited......a lot. You name it, it's happened. But you know what? "Sod it"
Today is a new day, a start of the next 7days and I'm just going to forget it all happened, and start again
This makes me happy! 
Seasider in the City is hosting this week, so get yourself over and check out the blog hop. Maybe have a go yourself! 
P.S. It's my turn next week, gulp! Oh, I'm not going to worry about it, new motto is "Sod it!"

Reasons to be Cheerful #R2BC Sunday 29th July

Before I forget Michelle is having some down time for the summer and is passing the baton each week for someone else to host.
I'm so lucky to be one of the baton bearers, schedule is

• Week 31 - 2 August - Seasider in the City
• Week 32  - 9 August - Glass Half Full
• Week 33 -  16 August - Mama Owl
• Week 34 - 23 August - Lakes Single Mum
• Week 35 - 30 August - Cakes Photos Life
• Week 36 - 6 September - Tiger Tales

Good luck everyone!
I've had a busy (medical) week, which is partly why this post is late
Monday was blood tests ready for Tuesday's appointment. Then in the afternoon I saw my counsellor. Friday I got to meet with a lovely nurse from an insurance company who are looking after a claim I'm being assessed for. Quickly followed in the afternoon by another blood test and unexpected appointment for a rather nasty rash I've developed.
All is well though, outcomes were good. I'm better at having needles stuck in me, the trick is watch as it goes in. No nasty surprises, eyes wide open and totally aware. Bit like life! All medics are happy and I've a 7 day course of antibiotics for the rash.
If you missed it, I did the walk I was banging on about and in the process raised over £300 for St Lukes Hospice. It was hard, I was very lonely, but I did it! Feels great, big tick in the box.
The counselling session has helped too, I beat myself up too much. FACT. Everyone I've spoken to says the same, so it must be true :) I'm struggling with this thing called cancer. Operations, pain and treatments are something tangible, something to take on and fight. But the emotional side has knocked me for six.
It would be easy for me to paper over the cracks, put on the brave face and smile for the camera, however I'm frightened it would just be delaying the inevitable. I want to be fixed. I want to be whole. I want things back to normal.
So I'm spending some time to just accept. Sounds simple doesn't it. Take it from me, its harder than actually having my kidney out.

But it will happen

Reasons to be Cheerful Friday 20th July #R2BC

I have totally lost the plot on which week I'm upto in the year so have resorted to dates. This agrees with my inner Virgo which likes absolutes!
I've been naughty and wish to confess. I've wanted a new camera for a while now, kept putting it off because I couldn't warrant the cost. On a whim I went into the shop, tried a couple out and bought a Sony SLT-A37K, plus lots of extras. It was a lot of money to spend on a luxury item.....just for me. Feel a little bit guilty but at the same time happy. A guilty pleasure. Still not sure how to use the thing, so many buttons and settings, but will have many happy hours working it all out
Finally it looks like the weather will be improving. Maybe my mood will too!
Following last week's #R2BC post I've posted three or four quotes along the theme of Silver Linings. I've enjoyed going through my photo's to find just the right picture to accompany each quote and think I'll make it a regular feature on Glass Half Full. It's combining a healthy positive attitude with my joy in taking photo's. Win win all round. Take a look at the ones already published here, and let me know what you think.
I'm taking part in St Luke's Midnight Walk on Saturday and am getting excited if not a little bit scared.  If you are able to sponsor, I'd be grateful. The link for my Just Giving Page is https://www.justgiving.com/account/your-pages/Fay-7-Miles/
My chemo feet are killing me, I'm not sure I will make it round, but will put my best foot forward and try. Hopefully will have 'completed the walk' as part of next week's #R2BC

Reasons to be Cheerful - Silver Linings #R2BC

Been a while (it feels like forever, in reality two weeks) since I last joined up with Michelle's Mummy from the Heart Reasons to be Cheerful meme #R2BC
All I will say about the absence is sometimes things are just too hard and even I can't fake it until I mean it. But I'm trying (and no-one say 'very' or you'll get a Paddington Bear stare!) 
The living room is being decorated! Yay, at last! It's been 16 years since it was last revamped, when I thought the deep pinky red was cool, contemporary and comforting. All these years later it's just tired, old hat and frankly past it's best (don't even try and compare it to the author of this post or I will give you the 'mother is not impressed stare'! Take it from me, a step up in severity from Paddington's)
Floor's being laid Friday, furniture (a la Ikea) delivered on Saturday and will take about 3 years to put together. If it looks vaguely okay I'll post photo's. Who am I kidding? It's going to look 1000% better than what was there before. Will be somewhere to relax and chill out. Can't wait.
I reached my four stone Slimming World award two weeks ago, still buzzing about that!

I reached my 30,000 tweet and wrote a post which got for me quite a few comments and views. I always love getting comments! 
I'm getting some pretty horrid side effects from the clinical trial drug. Feet hurt most of the time (around 7 on the pain scale) I'm tired, irritable, depressed, rashes, sore hands and scalp, mouth ulcers blah blah blah. However, unless my mind is playing a horrible trick, it does mean I'm not in the placebo group and therefore getting cover from a recurrence.Silver linings and all that.