Day 3 and counting

Today is the third day after surgery...and I'm doing ok!

Surprised myself and managed to tweet the day after, how though I have no idea, as I couldn't actually see straight!

I'm doing everything I should do, when I should be doing it and feel ok. I'm not saying its all been plain sailing though.

Wednesday I had a period of overwhelming anxiousness and agitation. I didn't know why and couldn't explain it. I just had to go with the flow, cry and let it pass. (but bloody hell, even sodding crying hurts!)

And yesterday, after telling my mum I was doing 'alright' (which was tempting fate) I had to do some walking, which seemed to be totally beyond me. Waves of dizziness and then a lot of pain, put paid to my making it to the end of the corridor.

Had another go earlier, with the same result, but made it a little further this time.

I think I have to experience the lows, so I can appreciate how most of the time I feel better than I could ever have imagined


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At the end of the day......

Well, today is the day. I'm due into the hospital at 11am and envisage going down for the surgery around 1.30pm.

I said on Facebook and Twitter last night the technical term for how I felt was 'shitting myself'. After a sleep (replace the word sleep with toss and turn. Mind you won't be doing that for a while following surgery!) I've worked through the things it could be.

The result surprised me.

101 Handy Hints .....

I recently wrote a blog about not checking out the internet, but sometimes, well actually most of the time, I'm ok with it. I'm a sensible and practical person and if I want to find out how to do something, I'm straight on there.

Some of my favourites are Internet Movie Data Base and Wikipedia. Recently however my searches have become unsurprisingly more medical by nature.

I stumbled across The Hysterectomy Association

The sensitivity of the subject is obvious but the pages have a sense of humour which appeals to me. I follow them on Twitter and subscribe to their daily newsletter. This gave me brilliant tips like

Don't wait... just do it!

We all have things that we do every day without thinking about them. Getting up in the morning and putting the kettle on for that first cup of tea or going round the house locking up before climbing up to bed. If someone were to ask us to list every detail of the day, it would be these things which we know we do, but can't recall them exactly.

I drive to work and take one route on the way into the office and another on the way home, 'to beat the traffic' (I know deep down I'm not beating the traffic, takes just as long either route, but it makes me feel better!) I don't notice the details, its humdrum and routine. But sometimes something will stick out, and a blossom tree on the side of busy main road in Plymouth last year stood out for me.

I remember 'really seeing' it for the first time, with its beautiful white blossoms just starting to appear and thinking how beautiful it looked. As the week progressed, the blossoms grew larger and started to weigh down the small branches. I noticed the way the trunk was slightly twisted and knarled. I remember distinctly thinking one evening it would make a beautiful photo, the blossoms stood out against the deep blue evening sky. I promised myself one evening on the way home, to do just that.

The next time I drove past, I was running a little late, so thought I would do it on Monday, I had plenty of time. The weekend ended, but I was travelling away for work that week and wouldn't be back for a few days; it went clean out of my head. By the time I finally remembered, the blossoms, as they always do, had started to fall and they didn't look as pretty as they did. I was out of luck, but it was ok, I had next year.

So this year, I kept an eye on the tree and again was looking for the 'perfect day' to take the photo. But for me, time ran out again but for a different reason. Friday was my last day at work, I'm having a total hysterectomy to treat uterine cancer, so driving (in fact going out at all!) will be out for me for a while.

I was given the news two and half weeks ago, and I've been watching that tree for the perfect shot. Its become a mission, a thing on my pre treatment to do list. My last day at work, and it was raining, but yesterday I made a point of going back to the spot and taking the shot. I wasn't going to let another year pass.

If you want to do something, just do it; don't think I'll do it tomorrow or next week or even next year because something will either get in the way or we run out of time.

The weather wasn't quite what I wanted, there were a lot of cars flashing past, but I got my shot





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Weird

weird  
[weerd]
adjective, -er, -est, noun
–adjective
1.
involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights.
2.
fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup.
3.
Archaic . concerned with or controlling fate or destiny.

That's how I feel about today