from: brothersemail@hotmail.com
to: myemail@googlemail.com
Subject: FW Hello
Hi Fay,
I asked him this time if I could blog this e-mail. His response?
Sure blog it if you want to. Just leave out our address at the end in case someone wants to come round and steal our eggs. I mean egg.
Love Mark xxx
Hi Fay,
I spoke to mum and dad today and heard you were in a bad way. I 've spoken to Juliette and we've agreed that if and when you good enough to travel there's a bed waiting here for you if you want to get away.
Granted you'll have to shell out a couple of thousand on air fair, put up with at least 25 hours of flying and a two hour car journey from Auckland down to Cambridge but when you get here there's a four bedroom house, a comfy bed and as much home brew as you'd want.
If it's a holiday you're after Matamata is half an hour away which if you've seen Lord of the Rings is where Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings is set. Yes, we live in Hobbiton country. Indeed with the green rolling hills and Hobbit like hairy toenails on offer by me and the locals there can be no better place on offer. Alas we can't offer much in the way of nightly entertainment except a cushioned seat to read books and the world wide web to illegally download Grey's Anatomy and Sherlock Holmes in hi def, but we live a simple life all the same. We have twelve chickens of which seven are cockerels and they're happy to surround the house at 5am to crow and wake you up. We have one laying chicken who has gone broody and decided to hide her eggs somewhere else but when we find out where there will be a fresh single egg daily. You'll have to fight Eva for it but she's four and half & so you'll have the height advantage.
Perhaps don't come in our winter though as the house has but one wood burning stove. It has two settings, freezing or the burning heat of the Sun. I'm trying to get the setting's right for the whole house but so far my research has proved fruitless. You are of course welcome to chop wood; it is a most pleasing exercise once you get past the potential for lopping your toes off. That sounds like a joke but I've got a steel capped pair of boots with a dent in already. You can of course come when ever but be warned about the winters. If sometimes gets down to freezing at night here which leaves a slight frost on the grass. Crazy weather!
You can hire a car or borrow one of ours for day trips (here the car is insured not the driver) of which we can offer both the east coast of the North Island of New Zealand and the west coast of the North Island of New Zealand. These offer oceans, sand and horizons in spades. To the north we have Auckland which is okay if you like international large cities with record high towers offering glass floor views and award winning restaurants, but we prefer the Waitomo Glow Caves and Rotorua to the south. Look them up ... if you're not expecting too much than you'll love it!
The bottom line is there's a pillow here waiting for your head to indent it. There's a niece and nephew you've either haven't seen for a while or never met yet and they'll love your mad aunty ways and ability to baby sit while their mum and dad go out on the lash. Plus don't forget about the home brew.
Love,
Mark xxx
P.S. It'd be really cool just to go outside and look up the all the stars we never got to see living in a city. I went outside tonight and there's millions but I haven't anyone with the same experiences to share it with. Sure there's Tom the cat but he came with the house and he's so f*cking blazè about everything.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I asked him this time if I could blog this e-mail. His response?
Sure blog it if you want to. Just leave out our address at the end in case someone wants to come round and steal our eggs. I mean egg.
Love Mark xxx
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