A weight has been lifted....

It's been one hell of a week. I got a call from the consultants secretary inviting me to an appointment on the 27th, over a week away. Nothing to worry about she said, Mr S just wanted to see me.

I was so scared though, I'd an agreement that he would only call if further treatment options needed to be discussed. So when I got the call it meant bad news.

One e-mail and my expectations were exceeded

Even before my surprise cancer diagnosis I'd already decided to lose weight. I've been overweight most of my adult life, but knew things needed to change.

I chose Slimming World following a recommendation from a friend, but decided to use the online subscription. I had a feeling if I missed a class I would never go back (it's happened before!)

The Slimming World Website is packed full of inspirational pieces, recipes, hints and tips, plus its easy to use! And for me its worked! I've lost nearly three stone since I started in January (I'm not looking at the target weight purple line, which by the way, I set, not Slimming World. I will get there!)

About me

I'm very new to blogging, it's something I decided to do when I was diagnosed with uterine cancer as a way of organising my thoughts and something to do while I recuperate.

I've enjoyed reading other themed blogs and when I saw @himupnorth asking for volunteers to be tagged, I thought why not. I love his tweets and The Blog Up North and recommend a follow and read!

This meme originated from Kerry Jean Lister and is based on The Guardian's Q&A feature

I found some of these questions really hard but others so easy. Hope you learn a little bit about me!

Creeps up and bites you....

I've been doing everything I should, when I should.

I've done my pelvic exercises and have walked around the house to improve my circulation. I've rested with my feet up and taken an afternoon nap. In fact, I think I'm doing really well and a model patient.

So the wave of pain which has crept up and bitten me is just so.....unfair!

It made me edgy and uncomfortable. I tried to relax and breathe through, but the pain just got worse, to the point I panicked and cried, I felt I was letting myself down.

This isn't the person I want to be. I want to be calm, I aim to be serene and in control and not controlled.

Codeine saved the day; 30 minutes and I'm back.

I need to learn to not beat myself up like this, I'm sure there will be more episodes like this to come ( I just hope not too many!!)

A couple of my handy tips

I didn't have much time to prepare for my operation, but did some reading and bought a book 101 Tips for a Happy Hysterectomy. If you read back to a previous blog I did find 'most' of it useful. I have however discovered some things they don't tell you about which I'd like to share (I apologise now for the toilet theme!)

Home....words

I'm home! And now the proper healing begins!

Just thought I'd share some of the emotions I've experienced the last few days. I think it says it all







Short & sweet!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Day 3 and counting

Today is the third day after surgery...and I'm doing ok!

Surprised myself and managed to tweet the day after, how though I have no idea, as I couldn't actually see straight!

I'm doing everything I should do, when I should be doing it and feel ok. I'm not saying its all been plain sailing though.

Wednesday I had a period of overwhelming anxiousness and agitation. I didn't know why and couldn't explain it. I just had to go with the flow, cry and let it pass. (but bloody hell, even sodding crying hurts!)

And yesterday, after telling my mum I was doing 'alright' (which was tempting fate) I had to do some walking, which seemed to be totally beyond me. Waves of dizziness and then a lot of pain, put paid to my making it to the end of the corridor.

Had another go earlier, with the same result, but made it a little further this time.

I think I have to experience the lows, so I can appreciate how most of the time I feel better than I could ever have imagined


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

At the end of the day......

Well, today is the day. I'm due into the hospital at 11am and envisage going down for the surgery around 1.30pm.

I said on Facebook and Twitter last night the technical term for how I felt was 'shitting myself'. After a sleep (replace the word sleep with toss and turn. Mind you won't be doing that for a while following surgery!) I've worked through the things it could be.

The result surprised me.

101 Handy Hints .....

I recently wrote a blog about not checking out the internet, but sometimes, well actually most of the time, I'm ok with it. I'm a sensible and practical person and if I want to find out how to do something, I'm straight on there.

Some of my favourites are Internet Movie Data Base and Wikipedia. Recently however my searches have become unsurprisingly more medical by nature.

I stumbled across The Hysterectomy Association

The sensitivity of the subject is obvious but the pages have a sense of humour which appeals to me. I follow them on Twitter and subscribe to their daily newsletter. This gave me brilliant tips like

Don't wait... just do it!

We all have things that we do every day without thinking about them. Getting up in the morning and putting the kettle on for that first cup of tea or going round the house locking up before climbing up to bed. If someone were to ask us to list every detail of the day, it would be these things which we know we do, but can't recall them exactly.

I drive to work and take one route on the way into the office and another on the way home, 'to beat the traffic' (I know deep down I'm not beating the traffic, takes just as long either route, but it makes me feel better!) I don't notice the details, its humdrum and routine. But sometimes something will stick out, and a blossom tree on the side of busy main road in Plymouth last year stood out for me.

I remember 'really seeing' it for the first time, with its beautiful white blossoms just starting to appear and thinking how beautiful it looked. As the week progressed, the blossoms grew larger and started to weigh down the small branches. I noticed the way the trunk was slightly twisted and knarled. I remember distinctly thinking one evening it would make a beautiful photo, the blossoms stood out against the deep blue evening sky. I promised myself one evening on the way home, to do just that.

The next time I drove past, I was running a little late, so thought I would do it on Monday, I had plenty of time. The weekend ended, but I was travelling away for work that week and wouldn't be back for a few days; it went clean out of my head. By the time I finally remembered, the blossoms, as they always do, had started to fall and they didn't look as pretty as they did. I was out of luck, but it was ok, I had next year.

So this year, I kept an eye on the tree and again was looking for the 'perfect day' to take the photo. But for me, time ran out again but for a different reason. Friday was my last day at work, I'm having a total hysterectomy to treat uterine cancer, so driving (in fact going out at all!) will be out for me for a while.

I was given the news two and half weeks ago, and I've been watching that tree for the perfect shot. Its become a mission, a thing on my pre treatment to do list. My last day at work, and it was raining, but yesterday I made a point of going back to the spot and taking the shot. I wasn't going to let another year pass.

If you want to do something, just do it; don't think I'll do it tomorrow or next week or even next year because something will either get in the way or we run out of time.

The weather wasn't quite what I wanted, there were a lot of cars flashing past, but I got my shot





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Weird

weird  
[weerd]
adjective, -er, -est, noun
–adjective
1.
involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights.
2.
fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup.
3.
Archaic . concerned with or controlling fate or destiny.

That's how I feel about today