It's been far to long since I last linked up with Michelle from Mummy From The Heart and her wonderfully inspiring Reasons to be Cheerful. I couldn't have gotten through the last couple of years without a positive outlook and silver lining thinking. Reflecting on the past week is a great exercise in keeping sunny and powerful.
I haven't stopped keeping topped up with positivity, just the recording of it. For some reason I felt compelled this week, and I usually go with my gut ( keep the comments about the size to yourself, those of you at the back!)
The weather has lifted everyone's mood I think. My internal temperature control is way off at the moment (its the drugs is my usual lament) Normally I'd be a sweaty Betty (not pretty) but as I'm usually cold, the heatwave is making me just right. I still can't go out in it, still too high risk for skin cancer from the drugs, however it makes me want to start walking again.
Had a fabulous couple of weeks at work, a simply brilliant work conference which has inspired and lifted me. I'm full of ideas to implement and make some changes. It's wonderful to spend time with like minded people and make connections.
I've been told I know everyone, it's not true by the way, however I was surprised by how many familiar faces were there. Plus plenty of new friends to make. All helped by the fact it was held at Alton Towers!
I indulged in my love of exciting rides with wild abandon, forgetting the fact I'm a middle aged woman, getting over cancer! There's life in the old dog yet.
I was also proud of myself on Monday, when it became evident I'd made a big mistake a work. The old me, would have beaten myself up, made myself feel terrible for the rest of the day. However, I sucked it up, and gave myself a talking to. I literally said, forget about it and move on, don't let it ruin anything else. And went on to have a productive, fruitful day and was happy and chipper once home (which certainly pleased MrC who does get the brunt in bad days. But then I think that's in the job description, you're there for your partner no matter what)
And the real reason, the heart of the cheerfullness? It's plainly obvious I'm on the placebo. My drugs trial was designed with three groups, group one which are on the placebo for three years, group two on the drug for three years and group three on the drug for a year and placebo for two.
I'm guessing I'm group three ( I won't know for definite for eight years when the study concludes, but to me it's obvious)
My hair is growing back, my feet are less sore and the feeling of fatigue is lessening. It all means I feel better. There's a part of me, a little bit sat in the corner worried that I won't have the same cover of the cancer coming back now I'm not taking it. But. And it's a big but. I CAN'T CHANGE THAT. So I can't let that dominate.
What will be, will be and the meantime enjoy the good times.
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